Odds and Ends
by bookworm835
Summary: An odd little story with a freaky ending. Odds and ends! Remus's friend (an original character of Wolfy's) and her brother join the Order and someone's a little jealous of all the attention Remus is getting from her! ;) A bit cheesy...


**Title: **Odds and Ends  
**Authors: **bookworm835, Wolf10  
**Category(s):** Humor/Romance  
**Summary: **An odd little story with a freaky ending. Odds and ends! Remus's friend (an original character of Wolfy's) and her brotherjoin the Order and someone's a little jealous ofall the attention Remus is getting from her! ;) A bit cheesy...  
**Disclaimer:** Me and Wolf10 _do -- not -- own_ (except for Trix and Terry and Benji)!!! So go away! Sob WAIT WAIT! CHANGE THAT! If you wanna SUE us, go away, if you're gonna read, GOOD FOR YOU! If you DO read, please R&R. No flames please, for this is my first story to be posted.

* * *

Trix Ridley fidgeted in her seat, looking around at the other members of the Order of the Phoenix. 

"Relax," Remus Lupin said with a soft smile. "I'm sure you'll make it in. I'll back you up, anyway. Plus, Alastor may be a bit... er, eccentric, but he's fair enough."

Trix grinned back feebly and whispered wryly. "Yeah, a _little _eccentric." She rolled her green eyes, and then glanced nervously up at where Albus Dumbledore was introducing the new members. Trix wringed her hands together nervously, and shifted yet again.

Lupin smirked. "You're not relaxing," he said. He snatched one of her hands up. She looked down from her hands to his face questioningly. "It's a bad habit," he said blandly. "Along with fingernail-biting." He motioned to his fingernails, which had been gnawed off.

She raised her eyebrows and then glanced suspicously at Sirius, her eyes narrowing slightly. Sure, everyone _thought _he was innocent, but how could they be sure? After all, there was just something fishy.... Lupin interrupted her thoughts.

"You have to trust him," Lupin said, his smile fading. "Besides, you're in _his_ house. And Albus trusts him. You at least trust Dumbledore, don't you? And... you trust me? I'm his best friend. Yours too."

Trix had been shaking her head when Dumbledore had been mentioned, but stopped when Lupin asked if she trusted him. "Of course I trust you, Remus, but still, how can any of us be sure that he's not a 'double-agent'? I mean --"

"Shush, love, the ceremony is starting," Lupin said.

"Yes, but Remus....it's just, well, none of you even used Veritaserum, none of us can be quite sure that Black's completely innocent." Trix muttered, sighing.

Lupin remained silent for a while, his face solemn. "You truly don't believe me?" he asked. Then he added, "If you asked _me _something, and you weren't quite sure if I was truthful... you would force Veritaserum? No, it just doesn't sound right, does it? Giving your friend that sort of thing just immoral."

Trix looked awkardly at him, and then sighed, and looked again at Dumbledore, her eyes showing a bit of distrust at the man. Again she shifted, and glanced at the door leading out of the room, too bad it was locked. Blast the old man.

Dumbledore smiled warmly down the table to Trix, his eyes glinting. He motioned to Moody, who stood up then limped over to the podium, his wooden claw foot thumping oddly on the molded floorboards.

Trix suddenly stood up. "Um -- I'm not feeling very well right now, so I'll just take a quick trip outside and be back shortly." She stepped towards the door, and walked out, surprised that no one had stopped her. Hurriedly Trix pushed her blond hair back, and continued walking.

She made her way up the stairs to the balcony, and she really did feel slightly nauseous. When she felt a hand on her shoulder she jumped nearly a foot in the air.

"Relax."

She recognized his voice immediately.

"Remus, um, hi." Suddenly a brown dog trotted over to her and wagged his tail, carrying a roll of parchment in his mouth. "Benji what is that?" Trix took it out of her dog's mouth, and ran her eyes down the paper.

Trix,

Your mother is ill, come home as soon as you can.

Dad

Lupin peered over Trix's shoulder and gazed at the note for a long time, squinting slightly as if he couldn't quite make out the words. Then, he murmured, "This note is written in your handwriting. What's it for again?"

"What?!" Trix mentally cursed herself. Of course Lupin would regonize her handwriting. "Um, well, my dad and I just share very similar handwriting is all."

Lupin raised an eyebrow. Trix watched his emotionless expression tensely, holding her breath. Then Lupin shrugged. "Alright," he said simply.

Suddenly Terry, Trix's twin brother, appeared beside her and Lupin. He grabbed the letter out of Trix's hand and scanned it, then: "MOM'S ILL? AND YET FATHER FOUND IT ALRIGHT TO --"

Lupin's eyes bulged a bit and he asked frantically, "Where'd you come from??" Then, he closed his eyes, drew a breath, then opened his eyes again. "Fine, fine, I don't think I'd like to know." He looked over to Trix, who refused to meet his eyes. Then he said, "Your mother is _indeed_ ill, is she not? I suppose you'll be leaving now. But then you won't be able to join the Order, you see, and I was so looking forward to -- er, sharing a bunk? Sleepover, if you will," he mused, grinning quite like how Trix thought a Marauder should. "But if --"

An owl suddenly dropped a letter on top of Terry's head and he cursed. "Damn bird! Ow...I'm gonna kill Dad for sending it... hey Trix, good news, Mum's fine." Trix twisted her hands together.

"Oh! She is...um, good news yeah..."

Lupin smiled and clapped his hands together. "Well, that's a good spot of luck there, isn't it? C'mon, we'd best be getting back to the ceremony before it ends, eh? Thought you could slink out of it." He laughed lightly, running his fingers through his tawny hair.

Suddenly Terry shifted. "Um, actually Remus, I was wondering...um... could you maybe set me up with... um.... Tonks?"

Lupin's eyes bulged again. "Nymphadora?" he asked, putting his hands in his pockets, his ears turning scarlet. "Er... I'm not exactly a good matchmaker --"

Terry interrupted, grinning broadly. "Oh yeah? Then how come I always hear you calling Tri 'love'? Personally, I find it sick, but none the less... well, I could ask Sirius. Oh, wait, he'd probably kill me three times over with a shoe string so nevermind...."

"You do that, won't you?" Lupin asked, paling again. He smirked. "... sick? Haha, hear that,_ love_?" He put his arm around Trix's shoulders. "He thinks all this mush is sick. I find it rather enjoyable, don't you, _love_?"

Trix grinned feebly back. "Um, yeah. Yeah, funny. Um... I'm kinda friends with Tonks, so maybe I could get you and her together, Terry."

"Would you? THANK YOU TRIX."

"You've had too much to drink haven't you?"

Lupin blinked like an owl in the daylight. "Drinking?" he questioned, his eyes wide.

"Come on then, Remus," Trix urged.

"Yes, but -- _drinking_?"

"Er, that's very dandy, Remus," Trix said.

"But he's --"

"_Re-mus_," Trix insisted, pulling his sleeve. "Weren't you the one to say we'd best be going?"

Terry grinned. "Then Jeremy told me I was more pissed then a skunk!" He burst out laughing, and then moaned. "Ow... hangovers hurt." He flinched slightly. Trix slapped him in the forehead.

"Does that help?"

Lupin continued rambling on about "underage drinking being more serious than underage wizardry" when Trix proceded to drag him away.

"But -- but --"

"Yes, yes, buts and all that rot," Trix muttered through clenched teeth, continuing to yank his robe sleeve off.

"Terry, no I refuse to give you money for --"

"Oh COME ON, they're just headache pills." Terry whined, giving her puppy eyes.

"No."

"Pwease??"

"No."

"Oh come on, Trix."

"For the last time, Terry, _no_. Go get a job, cuz I'm not giving you money for some stupid drugs!"

Lupin stepped into the room. "What did you say about drugs?" he asked cheerily, but his eyes were very weary and anxious.

"Remus, don't interrupt right now, I'm trying to strangle Terry." Trix had brother in a tight headlock.

"Ow, Trix! I can't breathe!"

"GOOD!"

Lupin smiled. "Well, have fun then, I'm off to -- er, do things -- er, umimportant things," he added hastily, grinning cheerily again in a very corny, fake manner. "So, I'll just be going --"

Trix swore all of a sudden. "Oh! I forgot, Terry, we'll have to finish this later, I have to be at Chris' right now! Oh, damn... where did I put my cloak?"

Trix rolled her eyes and glared at her brother, then her gaze shifted over back to the doorway. Lupin was gone. Trix shrugged. "He said he had to leave," she thought to herself. "What should I be woried about? That he's off to murder someone?" She laughed.

It was late and Trix tried helping Molly with the cake she was trying to get out of the oven. "OW!" It landed right on her foot in the tin, and she yelped. "Ow, ow!"

"Oh, Trix, I'm sorry, that was an accident!" She didn't seem to care though.

"Oh, _sure._" Trix snapped in an angry way, hopping on her foot.

Trix sat down and groaned. "Where's Remus?"

"Remus?" Trix hestinently knocked on the door. "Are you alright? Did something hurt you? Remus?"

There was a groan from inside as from someone who had just woken up achingly. "Ugh, mhm, what?" she heard. His voice was tired and disoriented. "J-just sleeping, no need for you to come in...."

"Are you sure you're alright?" Trix asked anxiously, her eyes worried. "If you need anything... Remus, are you sure you're alright? And I must tell you, I _can't _take another day with Molly Weasley."

There was distant mumbling from the other side of the door.

"Remus?..." Trix muttered concernedly. There was a long silence. "... Remus?..."

"Mff. Do-don't come in, alright? I'm fine, just... sleeping."

"Well, just tell me if you need something alright?" Trix asked in a worried tone of voice. "And, um, I'll just sleep on the downstair's couch for tonight then."

"Yes, that's good... good," he mumbled groggily.

Trix streched tiredly, and walked slowly into the kitchen, and attempted to start the muggle coffee pot on. It wouldn't turn on. "Oh, come on! Turn ON!"

She heard a sort of sniff suddenly from the bar. Trix jumped a foot again and whirled around. Lupin was sitting there, a caffiene-filled cup of coffee held poised under his nose. His eyes were sunken and there were dark shadows under them. His face was unnaturally pale and his pajamas hung more loosely on his frame.

"How do you turn it on again?"

"Mm?" he asked tiredly, his cup still held in midair. "Oh, push the little red button that says 'ON/OFF'."

Carefully Trix turned it on, and coffee started shooting everywhere. "AHHH! Um...oops?"

Lupin smiled weakly. "Careful, I made it especially strong this morning."

"Oh. Well, I have to go somewhere today, just so you know. Um, Remus, could you watch Terry? Ugh, first I better clean this up, huh?" Trix gestured hopelessly at the walls, floor, and ceiling of the kitchen. "Let me see... what was the spell.... spell...."

Lupin sipped his coffee dully.

"What's up with you, Remus? Did you have a fever yesterday or something?"

"Mm?" he repeated. "Oh, er, _oh, yes_, actually... so best not get to close to me, right? Dunno if I'm up to babysitting Terry, there...."

"That's fine, anyway... he'll manage, just get better, okay? So, I'll just be gone for about a night or two --"

Lupin shrugged. "Right... gone... for a night or two... got it, right...." He took another sip of his coffee and mumbled to himself again.

"Right... see you soon." Trix headed for the door.

Suddenly, realization struck. "Where're you going?" Lupin asked, looking up from his mug, his eyebrows arched slightly. "... two days, eh, that's a long time...."

Trix rolled her eyes. "I'm just meeting with an _old_ friend."

Lupin put his cup down on the counter and slid out of his seat, swaying slightly. "Might I ask who?" he asked, steadying himself.

"Her name's Cheryl. We're just going to hang around each other and talk and stuff for a while. Then I'll be back."

She made her way out the door, magicking her suitcase into the ordinary muggle cab. She opened the door to get in when she heard Lupin's voice yet again.

"You're not really leaving, are you?"

Trix turned slowly. "Just for a day or so, Remus."

He shook his head, looking very odd in his pajamas. "Have her come here," he mumbled. "You shouldn't go."

"Why not?"

Lupin blinked. "You shouldn't go," he repeated drearily.

"Remus, just explain what you're on about."

He stared then took a step backward.

"Look, I'll go for an hour and be back, okay?"

He took another step back and whispered inaudibly.

"Fine. I'll stay, just let me owl her quick." Trix looked very confused.

Lupin retreated back into the house without a sound.

"Here, Train, take this to Aunt." Quickly Trix walked into the house, feeling quite confused.... again.... still. She was even more confused when she saw that the room was empty.

"Remus?" she called, forgetting her owl. It echoed eerily around the hallways as she made her way to his and her bunk.

She rapped her knuckles on the door and called his name again. "Remus? Are you... er, sleeping again?"

Silence.

"Remus?"

Finally, sighing, she put her hand on the doorknob and turned. "Are you mad at me or something? Because I'd really like to know what the bloody hell this is all about --"

That room was empty too.

Fear welled in Trix's stomach. "Remus? C'mon, this isn't funny," she yelled. Then she muttered shakily, "At least I haven't found any dead bodies." She shivered slightly. "... yet."

Suddenly she heard her brother yell "boo!" from behind her.

"Very funny, Terry. Help me find Remus, will you?"

Terry grinned. "Ooh, have you lost your love, sister dearest?"

Trix raised her hand to smack him.

"Hit me and I won't help," he said indignantly.

She scowled. "Fine," she muttered, lowering her hand.

Terry cupped his hands around his mouth. "_Reeeeeeeemuuuuuuus_," he howled. "_Come ooooout before we all go maaaaaaad…. Your lover girl is waaaaaiting for yooooooooou!_"

It echoed about again.

There was no response.

Terry shrugged. "Well, he's not here. Oh well!" He raised a foot to stroll off when Trix grabbed and pinched his shoulder hard.

"Stay here, you bastard," Trix growled.

"What are you two twits bickering about?" the greasy-haired man snarled at them.

Trix muttered, "Shut up."

"What was that?" Snape breathed out.

"Oh, I just said 'alrighty then,'" Trix said innocently, shrugging.

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Well?"

"Well what?" Terry asked.

"Well, what are you two doing wandering the hallways screaming at the top of your lungs?"

"Oh you know," Terry said cheerfully. "Exercising our lungs, seeing who could scream the loudest. It was quite fun, care to join us?"

Trix rolled her eyes. "We're looking for someone. If you can help us, great, if you can't, bugger off, if you'd please."

Snape's eyes narrowed further.

"Well? What do you say?" Trix inquired.

"Whoa, what smells like wet dog?" Terry asked rudely.

Trix glared. "Well?"

"It depends who it is," Snape hissed.

"A were –" Terry started.

"If you are speaking of the former Professor Lupin, I cannot help you there," Snape said airily.

"Why not??" Trix spat.

"Because I know why he has left, you see, and I know that there is no point in bringing him back until he is _quite sane_."

Trix stared, her jaw dropped, then she said angrily, "He _is_ sane, you arse!"

"Whoa, lover girl just swore!" Terry said happily.

Trix raised her eyebrow. "Suuure."

Snape was looking rather sullen about being called an "arse" and the corners of his mouth twitched, as if something was trying to force itself out.

"Well, maybe we should all go to bed and he'll be back in the morning." Terry suggested.

Snape smirked. "Well well, it seems that this idiot Gryffindor _does_have _some _sense in him," he said haughtily.

"Oh shut up you, bastard!"

Snape shrugged it off. "You may have a point, and yet you still remain daft, boy. It is not even midday, do you see? You just came from bed _because you just woke up_."

Terry huffed. "Hufflepuff for your ruddy information."

Snape smirked. "Hmm, seems you've made _some _improvement. Hufflepuff may as well be the worst house in history, but Gryffindor just barely takes that name."

"Hufflepuff isn't bad, you snake!" Terry snarled. "Slytherin's the worst!"

Snape smirked yet again. "Why thank you, you immature cow."

Terry jumped and punched the heck out of Snape.

Trix awoke the next morning on the top bunk, stretching and yawning. She pulled her shirt straight and jumped down the ladder and was about to walk out the door when she realized that something had moved behind her.

"Remus??" she practically yelled, jumping onto his bunk and shaking the lump under the covers.

"UGH, I'M AWAKE! WHAT??" Lupin shouted loudly.

Trix grinned. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" she asked, equally loud.

Lupin pulled the covers out of his face and stared at Trix straight in the eyes, his brow furrowed. "What?" he asked, his face scrunching up.

Trix shook him again playfully. "Don't be so silly, Rem, I'm serious," she said, giggling slightly. "You worried me half to death. Where were you?"

Lupin stared at her hard again and then said, his voice concerned, "Er, Trix, I never left."

Trix's grin fell immediately off of her face. "W-what?" she asked, puzzled. "You're kidding, right?"

Lupin sat up, forcing her off of him. "No," he said, "I'm not."

"But you didn't answer last night!"

"You – what?" Lupin asked, swinging his legs off of the bed and standing up straight without difficulty. "You weren't calling me, love, you were with me all yesterday. You insisted, remember?"

"But you – and me – and Snape and Terry – and the arse whupping – and –"

He stared at her. "Are you alright?" he asked, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "You want me to get help? Do you have a fever? Are you delerious?" He felt her forehead, his eyes wide. "Oh, don't worry, love, I'll get help for you… you don't feel hot…"

"No, Rem, I'm fine, really…."

He shook his head. "Are you sure? Where were you yesterday? Tell me, what's your name, what's the date??"

She gaped at him. "Really, I swear I'm fine, my head just hurts a little, but I'm perfectly fine." Her voice rised slightly at the end.

He swallowed. "Erm, I'll just make you some soup, alright? You'll stay here on the bed while I make you a lunch?"

"Remus, I can get it myself." She muttered, standing up.

He shook his head more. "No, no, I'm getting it, so you just sit here and wait."

"But –"

"_Sit here and wait_, alright, love?"

"Remus, I'm old enough to get up and get myself some sou –"

He smiled softly. "I'm sure of that," he said. "Er, just…" He put one hand on his hip and the other on his head. He sighed. "Will you just do this for me? Please? Just sit, it's all I ask."

"But –"

He patted her on her poor confused head and went out the door. "Sit," he repeated, "and wait." Then he shut the door. Immediately Trix jumped up and lunged for the doorknob but when she yanked on it, she found that she was locked in.

"The nerve of that man!" she thought hotly. "To lock me in? What, doesn't he trust me – oh, um… well, I guess I _was_leaving… but that doesn't matter, he locked me in!" She sniffed sympathetically to herself.

"Remus, open the damn door, I'm thirty-two NOT two, for crap's sake!"

There was no response so she sat grumpily back down on the bed, crossing her arms, pouting. After a while she heard the lock click open and the door creaked. Lupin stepped in, smiling warmly, looking silly in his striped pajamas and fuzzy slippers, carrying her soup.

He handed her her meal. "Eat," he ordered, firmly yet gently.

She obeyed, but she remained grumpy.

"Good girl," Lupin said, grinning from ear to ear and sitting next to her.

"Um, Remus, I'm gonna go grab some orange jui –"

He shook his head and grabbed her by her pant leg. "Nuh uh, you can't get rid of me that easily," he mused again.

"Remus, it's just orange juice."

Lupin shrugged. "Well, if your juice is that important to you, I'll get you some. Here –" He waved his wand and a carton of it appeared. "Drink up, now, right? You want your calcium, right?"

"Reeemus." Trix whined exaperatedly.

He merely smiled that mysterious smile again and pulled her back down, brandishing the carton of orange juice. "Yummers, right? You wanted this." He put the carton in her lap and patted her head again.

"Remus, I'm not insane, you know."

He sighed. "Right, my dear, it's just… I didn't go anywhere yesterday, I was in bed. And you said you were worried, and you wanted to know what was wrong. So you sat on my bed all day, even though I pushed you off, see?"

"Well then… what _was _wrong, then?" she asked innocently enough, putting her soup bowl on the ground, her hands clasped in her lap and batting her eyelashes.

"Erm, don't change the subject, love," he said, his hand in his hair again.

"Why?" She batted her eyelashes again, smirking.

He shrugged. "Oh, n-no reason, just – er, no reason."

She huffed. "Come ON, Remus…. Oh, just so you know, I think you left the stove on downstairs judging by the smell of smoke."

Lupin sighed. "Fine, fine, I'll play along, I'll leave," he said, rising. He sniffed the air and sighed again, more loudly this time. "Ah, rightio, that _is_ smoke," he said in a slightly sarcastic tone. He locked the door as he left again. "Don't wander off, my dear. Why don't you take a nice cat nap? For me?"

Trix huffed. "Remus! Why do you keep locking the door?!"

He shrugged. "Why don't you want it locked? I mean, if you're going to listen to me and stay in your room, why should you be worried about whether the door is locked or not? It'll make no difference if you behave as you should."

"Remus, I swear if you don't stop locking this door –"

He smiled. "Behave, there, 'cause I'll be back, alrighty?"

"Why are men so – men???"

"Remus, please don't tell me you locked the door again?" Trix asked him with a sigh, as she tried budging the door open.

He shrugged. "Why do you want to leave?" he asked, reclining into his pillows.

"Because I'm hungry is why!"

He sighed. "Again?" he asked, smirking. He grabbed his wand and smiled at her. "What'd you like, love?"

"Remus, I want to COOK my own meals you know! Not spend the day in here."

He smiled again. "Knock yourself out," he said, waving his wand as a stovetop and food stuffs appeared. He put his hands behind his head and yawned. "I'm going to sleep, alright there?"

"Wait a moment, Remus, where's my wand?!"

He innocently shut his eyes and faked a snore.

"REMUS! STOP FAKING OR –" Trix stopped, stepped over to the stove, and then dumped hot, scolding water on top of Remus' "sleeping" form.

He yelled and jumped up, staring through his dripping hair in disbelief.

"I thought you might like a shower, Rem."

He poked at his forearm. "Oh yeah, a nice _warm_ shower is just what I need. Ow." He poked again at the burn and scowled. "How very clumsy of you." He waved his wand again, moving the stove and water far, _far_ away from his bed. He tutted. "What a mess," he muttered, cleaning himself and his bed up. He sighed. "Now you've woken me up, and I'll never be able to get a single wink of sleep, see?"

Trix rolled her eyes. "I want my wand back, Remus."

"Why?" he asked, gingerly sitting back down onto his bed.

"Because I want to go downstairs!"

"Then nope."

"Why not?"

"I can't have you walking about all crazy-like, love, but don't take it the wrong way," he added hastily, grinning appologetically. "Y'see, Grimmauld Place can be a bit… er, dangerous, but it's safe enough to live in, still. But we can't have you getting lost, right? Besides, I think you can live without cooking yourself for another day. You never liked cooking be – be – fore," he said, yawning.

"Remus, come on! Grimmauld Place isn't that BIG! And I could find my way back, pwease?" She gave him the puppy eyes.

He smiled. "I'll make you a deal, alright? You sleep, and I'll sleep, and once we wake up in the morning I'll let you out. But you have to stay by me, alright? If you go wandering off, I'll have to lock you up again and get a Healer to make a house call."

"Rem –"

He grinned, closing his eyes again. "And now that I've had that peachy little shower, I don't think I'll need another any time soon, mm?"

Trix crossed her arms and pouted unhappily, looking put-out.

Hurriedly Trix turned the tap on the sink of the room to cold, grabbed a bucket of water, jumped onto the top bunk, and then dumped it all over Remus' sleeping form. "Rise and shine!"

He screamed. "I SAID I ALREADY HAD A PEACHY LITTLE SHOWER, THANK YOU!!" he said, now shivering instead of poking his burns.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I must not have heard you."

He rolled his eyes and pulled out his wand. "Now I'm going to have the chills all day, thanks to you," he said, snuffling.

"Drama-Queen." Trix said happily, skipping over to the window, and whistling.

"I am no queen, as you can see," he said. "Now, be nice, little girl, or I won't let you go out to play."

Trix was too busy whistling to really hear him.

He sighed heavily and yawned. "Fine, fine, want to go out now or –"

Trix looked confused, and looked over at him. "Sorry, what were you saying, Remus?"

He cursed but then smiled. "Have it your way, then," he said. "Are we going to venture out into the great beyond of Grimmauld Place, eh?" he asked playfully, smirking.

Trix rolled her eyes. "Sure, why not?" She happily picked up a cinnamon roll and stuffed it boredly into her mouth.

"Well, if you're not entirely positive you want to," Lupin began wryly, "maybe we'd best not go at all?"

"Whatever you want."

He smiled. "I'm still tired," he said, yawning, "and now I'm cold. So… you do whatever, will you? I don't mind –" he unlocked the door – "just as long as you stay out of trouble, mm?"

"Um… I didn't mean to blow it up, Remus…."

Lupin yawned, sitting up in bed. "What? Blew what up, love?"

He saw Snape in the background almost flinch. "Your _love_ –" (the word sounded foreign on Snape's tongue) – "blew up my entire room playing with my experimental potions."

"It was an _accident _I've _told _you…."

Snape rolled his eyes.

"If you hadn't left it laying around I wouldn't have found it and messed with it and then blown up your room!" Trix replied hotly, looking at Snape angrily. "It's not my fault you don't keep things like that locked awa –"

"I shall _not_ be spoken to like that!" Snape hissed. He looked around wildly. "L-Lupin! Do something about this child!"

"Oh, now running off to mommy for help?" Trix asked mockingly.

"Does _everyone _have to mistake my gender today?" Lupin asked forlornly.

Snape looked flustered so he decided to reply to Lupin's comment. "Well, Lupin, you _do_ have womanish features, such as your –"

"Ehem!" Trix interrupted angrily.

"I do _not_ have 'womanish features', Severus!" Lupin said.

"Well, I'll just be leaving –" Trix muttered, edging towards the open door.

She left Lupin and Snape to bicker.

"Um, Remus, you're not mad that I blew up Snape's room, are you?" Trix asked sheepishly.

He huffed. "Actually… don't tell Severus, will you?… but I'm actually quite proud of you," he said nonchalantly.

Trix looked confused. "What?"

He grinned mischieviously in a very Marauder-like fashion but remained silent.

"Um…did I mention that I accidentally blew up your favorite vase?"

He sighed. "Well, I'm not proud of that, but… you have the pieces still?"

"Um…"

He rolled his eyes and whisked his wand about, first causing the broken shards to appear, and then he fit them together like a puzzle and mended them together.

"So…. You're okay with me blowing up Snape's room?"

"Oh, yes," he said.

"Positive? As sure as heck?"

"Er," he said, daftly waving a hand around, "I'm as sure as the sun rising, alrighty?"

"Look, Remus, you guys have been dating for six months!" Terry said in a sing-song voice. "Don't you think it's time you proposed?"

Lupin shrugged. "I dunno, haven't really thought about it, see? 'Cause I haven't exactly pictured our friendship as _dating_. Besides, you wouldn't want me for a brother, would you?" He laughed dully.

"Awww, sure, there's nothing wrong with you!" Terry grinned widely. "And besides, calling her 'love' is a pet name, so it sounds like you're dating, so you must be dating, and if you're dating –"

"That's quite enough, eh?" Lupin interrupted, stretching in the morning sunlight. "I'm sure that Trix agrees with me, go ahead and ask her!"

"Um… I'd rather not." Terry muttered.

Lupin grinned cheerfully. "Well then, case closed! I say we're not dating, and you're too – er, excuse me but – chicken to ask your sister… so that means that you have to trust me, Terry."

"But, Remus, look, can't you just -- ?"

He blinked. "What, propose to the woman?" he asked, his eyes wide. "That's proposterous, don't you know."

"Why is it?" Terry asked, looking quite confused.

Lupin blinked again, looking somewhat flustered. "Er, well – I mean – well, there's a perfectly good explanation for all of this, really – you're just not permitted to know. It wouldn't work out, it's not Trix's fault if that's what you're thinking. Come to think of it, I'm not exactly responsible either." He waved his hand around again. "It's adult business, you wouldn't understand."

"Remus, I'm sure she wouldn't mind being engaged to someone like you –"

"_Someone – like – me_?" Lupin breathed out suddenly, his eyes flashing.

"Look I didn't mean anything bad, I was just sayin –" Terry held up his hands in "surrender".

Lupin shook his head. "Right, whatever, just – won't you stay out of this? Please? It's nothing you can help, trust me." His expression darkened. "It's nothing _anyone_ can help _any more_."

"Remus! Pwease, just –"

"It's not to be discussed, see? This conversation didn't occur, did it?"

"But –"

Lupin ruffled his hair. "Good lad," he said.

"But –"

Lupin strolled out of the room, his hands deep in his pockets.

"Well! At least admit you like her!"

Lupin came to a grinding halt, one foot still raised to continue walking out the door. He turned slowly, with a very, very small smirk. "Well, you figure it out," he said, shrugging carelessly.

Trix tried helping Molly with the cake she was trying to get out of the oven. "OW!" It landed right on her foot in the tin, and she yelped. "Ow, ow!"

"Oh, Trix, I'm sorry, that was an accident!" She didn't seem to care though.

"Oh, _sure._" Trix snapped in an angry way, hopping on her foot.

Lupin walked into the room, his hands in his pockets, an odd, mischievious smile on his face. "'Lo," he said, ignoring the fact that the two women were staring each other down. "Nice morning, isn't it?"

"THERE WAS NO REASON TO DROP THAT DAMN CAKE ON MY FOOT, WEASLEY!"

"SHUT-UP, RIDLEY!"

"WHY DON'T YOU FOLLOW YOUR OWN ADVICE!?"

Lupin took his hands out of his pockets and made a low whistle. "Whoa, erm, nevermind, I'll be going now!" He cheerily turned on heel and began to swagger off into the living room.

"WAIT! Remus, I'm coming with, I'm not being left in the same room with _her _anymore!" Trix said, running up to him.

He grinned but didn't turn around. He said, without looking at her, "Having some cake with your dear friend Molly? Honestly, Trixie, love, you ought to give her a chance. She's a nice girl –"

Trix snorted loudly.

He smiled. "Fine, don't believe me _again_, but when you're old and decrepit and I'm dead and Molly is the only one on the face of the earth that can help you, you'll be sorry," he mused brightly.

"Oh, well, that's a probable event." Trix said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, sure, I'm just – ya know, Terry's been talking about some things."

"Wha-what stuff?" asked Lupin, suddenly tripping slightly.

"I don't – well, he's been talking with Tonks about a lot of things, and it sounded like he said the word 'propose', 'idiotic', and something like 'thick-headed'."

Lupin sighed. "Well, I can trust Tonks, even if Terry _is_ idiotic and thick-headed. He's… probably not talking about anything important, Trix."

"Yeah, but he seemed frustrated about it –" Trix muttered.

A frown line appeared between Lupin's eyebrows as he said, "Well, maybe he ought to ask Tonks all those things he rambles on about – about – about someone else that I happen to know…. And I have promised to keep his – er, or her – secret, so don't ask, alright?"

"But –"

He plopped down on the shredded sofa, trying to look laid-back. "Erm, Trix? Try not to be a bother like your stubborn brother, alright?" He smiled faintly, sighing again. "Just ignore this, won't you? I asked – I mean, my _friend_ asked him to ignore that entire fiasco and he obviously isn't a very… er, worthy source anyhow."

"Remus kinda avoided the subject." Trix muttered to Terry over dinner, looking down-cast.

"Figures. He told me to but out, but you know me, I simply refuse to listen to a word anyone says, until I get them to do what I – oh, hi, Tonks."

"What are you two talking about?"

"How to get Remus to propose to Trix over there."

"Ah, I think I can help."

"Hey, Remus." Tonks said with a smile, and plopped down next to him. "How're ya doin'?"

He twidled with his wand, sparkling reddish material floating out and becoming solid. He grinned and handed Tonks an oragami crane. "For you," he said dramatically.

"Look, Rem, I've been talking to Terry and Trix, and they seemed like they –"

"Had lost their minds?" Remus continued brightly, smiling as she took the hunks of paper. "Yeah, they've been talking about the most _ridiculous _things, like – er –" he waved his arms about as if trying to remember – "marriage… and food… and marriage…. But none of it's true, so you don't believe them, do you, Nymphadora?"

"First off, don't call me Nymphadora. And second, you and Trix getting married doesn't seem like such a bad idea –"

Lupin actually fell out of his seat and rubbed his lower back. "Ow. What? S-sorry, didn't quite hear you…." He trailed off, closing only one eye.

"I said –" Tonks started _very slowly_. "That you and Trix together doesn't seem like such a bad idea."

"Right, right, yes, erm, alright," Lupin said to her, then she heard him mutter something that sounded like "_why won't he keep to his own bloody business? Goes running off to mummy and sister dearest when someone tells him a secret. Bloody, bloody bastard."_

Trix jumped on top of Remus' bed, and shook him. "Wake up, sleepy-head! I made breakfast, come on! Pancakes and stuff, wake up!"

He groaned and rolled over in bed, pulling the covers over his head. "Mmff, too tired to eat, rather sleep…" he mumbled. "Come down… when I'm h-h-hungry." He yawned into his pillows.

"Remus, please, no one else is here –"

"What?" Lupin flipped over in bed, his eyes no longer sleepy. "Where'd they go? What for? What are they doing? Rr, don't they ever just stick their head in a hole? Stupid things… just like stupid ostriches… except without the hole-head-sticking, mind you! Which means I bloody prefer ostriches."

"Rem, they just went on a mission for the Order, that's all, they said they'd be back by tomorrow."

Lupin almost looked like he was hyperventilating. "Right, right, yes, erm, alright, whatever…." He crawled groggily out of bed as Trix excitedly yanked on his sleeve more.

"C'mon," she said happily. "Mind you, I might have made a little too much –" ('A little too much' is a dirty lie.)

"Mm, sounds right delicious," he said, "but I've got to go – er, do something first, you see. Don't worry your pretty little head about it, mind, but just… sit and wait, remember? Sit and wait downstairs for me. I'll be there soon enough."

"Aww, but Rem –"

"Go on," he said, pushing her out the door, forcing a half-hearted grin. "I'll be down in a minute, alrighty then?"

"Can't it wait though?"

He shrugged. "It could, but it won't, get it?" he asked.

"But –"

"Go eat breakfast, _Terry_, and I'll be down – in – a – minute. Don't be stubborn now, out, out." He shooed her away.

Trix huffed, but went downstairs.

When she was downstairs fiddling with her pancakes and such she heard a sudden, loud noise.

_C R A C K !_

"REEEEMUS! GET BACK HERE!" Trix yelled, dashing up the stairs. She scowled.

"And then I said," Terry muttered, waving his arms like the village idiot. "– Oh, -- hic – morning, Remus…" Terry said drunkenly, "Loviley day, ain't it?" He hiccuped again.

_You can guess what happened._

"Remus! Where've you been, I said that –"

He smiled, looking somewhat satisfied, pocketing his wand. "Just doing a bit of business, my dear, nothing to get upset about. I told you I'd be down in a minute and here I am. Now, I'm famished, can we eat yet?"

"Um – acturally I just found out that some white owl ate most of it – along with Benji…."

He sighed. He was almost going to say "the early bird gets the worm" but decided no to be so ironic and so he kept his dignity instead.

"But do you know anyone who owns a white owl, Rem?" Trix said, cocking her head to one side.

"Hmm? Oh, oh yeah, former student of mine, really. Harry Potter, reckon you've heard of him? He drops by here at Grimmauld once in a while now. The bird, Hedwig, she's been known to nip up a bit of payment for any long-distance messages, if you get my meaning."

"Lily and James' son?"

"Yes," he said slowly. "Harry… I refuse to call him that ridiculous name, 'The Boy Who Lived,' I prefer not to label my students, former as they may be. Did you see what happened to that letter the owl dropped off, Trixie?"

"It's right here…" Trix muttered, taking it out of her pocket, and handing it to him.

He grinned slightly as he opened the note in a rather slow fashion. He looked up at Trix, who was staring at him, and he pocketed the letter without reading it. "Later, perhaps," he said, pretending not to look interested.

"Um, well, do you want to have a go at cooking – I'd call Kreacher but I can't find him."

"Kreacher? Erm… no," Lupin said uncomfortably. "Sure, I'll take a crack at it, though I'll probably be a failure with Muggle cooking. I'm better at just whipping it up with my magicky stick here." He grinned, brandishing his wand about, sending bright purple and yellow sparks around the room. He grinned even more broadly.

"Speaking of wands, when I was talking to Terry he asked for my wand for some odd bizzare reason, and then he wouldn't give it back, so I don't have it with –"

"Here it is, love," he said, pulling a black wand out of his pocket. "Nicked it back for you when I was away at – erm, business." There was a long pause before Remus said quietly, "Remember that day… when you were sort of… er… well, don't get mad or anything –" he looked earnest – "but you were a bit delerious? I've sort of been thinking about that…."

"Yeah… and no, I wasn't delerious, Rem, I swear that really did happen…"

He smiled. "Of course it did, I'm just saying…." He trailed off again, gazing out the window. "Er… n-nice weather, isn't it?" he asked suddenly.

"Remus, why did you want to talk about that day?" Trix asked him, ignoring the weather question.

"Oh, erm, just forget I brought that up," he said just as suddenly, his eyes flashing ever so slightly. "No reason to be alarmed." He held his cup of coffee under his nose and took a sip, then wobbled to his feet. "I've just got to – er – uh – use the washroom, yes, so I'll be back in a second." He walked off in the direction opposite of where the 'washroom' was.

"Remus wait, one second! You're going in the wrong direction! Do you feel alright? You don't have a fever do you?"

He turned, his eyebrows slanted downwards. "Just be quiet, won't you? I know what I'm doing, just leave me be," he hissed.

"Remus, are you quite sure everything's all right?" Trix asked worriedly.

"Yes," he snapped, "just fine, now I'll be back, so just don't leave this room."

"But, Remus, you don't seem yourself –"

He skulked off.

She followed.

_C R A C K !_

"OW! Who put the lamp there! OW! Nymph that hurt! MY LEG!"

"Shh!" Trix warned, not bothering to ask why they were Apparating at random spots of the house and sitting on their friends. She pointed ahead of her and they all looked comical as they turned their heads. There was Lupin, still in his pajamas and fuzzy slippers, standing behind a tree looking as if he had fallen asleep on his feet. Suddenly, someone approached him from the shadows.

Terry suddenly hiccuped quite loudly. Trix glared at him. "S – hic – sorry."

"Now they'll know we saw them."

The "someone" turned around suddenly, a wand in its sallow-colored hand.

"AHHH! THE DEAD LIVE!" Terry yelled drunkingly, and Trix hit him upside the head. " –hic—sorry…"

Snape turned back to Lupin. "Now, you weren't getting any ideas now, were you, werewolf?" he hissed in Lupin's ear.

"Nothing," said Lupin simply, his eyes still closed, still looking like he was asleep on his feet.

"Good," Snape spat. "You do not propose, now, do you?"

"I want to," Lupin said emotionlessly.

"No you don't," Snape said flicking his wand around as if trying to swat a fly.

"Now, I'm mega confused." Terry muttered to Trix and Tonks.

Snape bared his uneven, yellowing teeth. "You understand why you're under an Unforgiveable Curse, werewolf?"

"Mm," Lupin muttered, still "sleeping."

"Good," Snape said, grinning, "because Trix Ridley is not for you, she is for me."

"EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!" Trix screamed and then tackled Snape. "YOU SICK MINDED DISGUSTING BLOODY BASTARD!!!!!!!!! REMUS SNAP OUT OF IT PLEASE!!!!!!!! DIE YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!! SNAPE I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"

Snape whirled around, his wand sparking fire. "_Ridley_!" he shouted. "You – you –"

"ME WHAT?!"

"YOU!"

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ON YOU ON ABOUT!"

Snape went on bended knee and said, "Well, you heard me, didn't you?"

_SLAP!_

Trix raised her hand for another but Lupin suddenly grabbed her wrist. "Er, Trix?"

"_He – he – and then he – and he said –! EWWWWWW!_"

"Shush, love," he said, grabbing her other wrist as well so she wasn't tempted.

"But he – then – and it was sick – and then – and –"

"I know," he said, glaring down at Snape in disgust. Snape was still clutching at his red face.

"AND IT WAS SICKENING!!!"

Terry looked like he was soon going to puke.

"AND HE EXPECTED ME TO LLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEE HIM, REMUS!!!!" Trix had a look of pure and utter terror on her face.

"Dementors! Dementors!" chanted Terry. "Feeeeeed his soooooooul to them, the vermin."

(A Month Later, also known as the Epilogue)

"Morning, Remus!" Trix said cheerfully, flipping pancakes, and whistling.

Now that Snape had been put in Azkaban (thank goodness) and Trix Ridley had become Trix Lupin, things were different around the house, obviously….

Lupin grinned at her and leaned over her shoulder and pecked her cheek. "Morning, love," he said in an oddly perky voice.

"EWWW! Must you do that in the morning!!?" Terry yelled as he entered the kitchen, covering his eyes with one hand, and in the other he was holding up a crucifix.

"Kissing isn't a sin, brother-in-law," Lupin said, shaking his head and smiling. "And besides, it was _your _idea that I proposed, I do believe."

"It doesn't mean that you snog in the kitchen in plain view OF EVERYONE."

Lupin grinned. "_That_ wasn't snogging, Ter. _This_ is snogging –"

THE END!!!

* * *

**Haha! So, you've survived? Good. Now be a good little boy/girl and go review. Pwease?? Thanx from thebookworm and the wolf**


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